There was a moment years ago when I realized that the faith I had did not work. Not that it wasn’t salvation, and not that it wasn’t full of beauty and great advice, but in the daily, hourly minutiae of life, the applications became meaningless. Left to my own devices, or the phrase, “the Holy Spirit will tell you what to do” I fell and failed. I broke in ways that the Word promised I wouldn’t if I was truly set on the ways of the Great Spirit, Yahweh. Met with denominations and congregations who offered a message of grace for the awfulness that is humanity, I found myself degrading into more awful. Because the message was, “Don’t worry, the cross covers your ugly,” I eventually fell into misunderstanding and misapplying the Bible in order to suit my own needs, just like the church was doing.
There was a moment in my darkest nights where I asked G-d to reveal His true self to me. Not the version I wanted, the version He was. And, maybe for the first time in my life, I was open to the answer. He brought me tutors and mentors and teachings. I began to grieve the part I had played in the destructive force of sin. Even the small things became glaring as they were on the wrong side of the scale. I was forced to face a former faith that lacked ground, matter, substance, and the stuff of life. In the vast darkness that was the beginning of unbelief, tiny lights began to flicker, the first signs of logical resolution to my questions about the seeming dissonance I saw in American Christianity. Lights that pulled me in deeper that set me on fire with a desire to learn and grow in this newfound understanding of the Middle Eastern Yeshua, and the ways of this one G-d who had become larger and more mysterious while becoming more earthy and real.
Over the years the answers have continued to come, and I now feel called to share these teachings. They are NOT new. They are old, very old. They are NOT mine! I apply what I see in the world to the truths of scripture. I compare scripture to itself. I define scripture by itself. Because that is the intended mode of understanding this letter from the Great Spirit. For me to impose my own meaning or desire or culture on it would be prideful. I do NOT have all the answers. I will get things wrong. But my attempt in sharing is to give you, from a female, from an American, from a non-Jew who grew up in American Christianity, the teachings that Seminary has forgotten about. The word of G-d that is infallible. The roots of the faith that the church is too afraid to address. Many are rising up in this understanding because G-d is faithful to his family. Yeshua said, “I came only for the lost House of Israel.” And do you not know who that house is? There are two houses and one family. Many followers will come into the net from outside of these houses as well. Just as Egyptians left Egypt with Israel in the Exodus, so the Gospel is for all people who are willing to hear and follow. But what is this Gospel really? Why is the American church shrinking? Where is G-d’s House? I know this; His family is being awoken. We are one and we belong together like the Prodigal Son and his older brother. G-d has not forgotten His children and desires that His children know Him, the real Him!
Teshuvah means to return to G-d’s ways. With all my heart I wish to serve and honor Him as He has called me into this great return. I am the most blessed! And if you know these teachings, or if you are just learning them now, may you understand that you are more blessed than you can imagine. All you have to do is open up your own Bible. What a privilege to know more of it’s depths and meanings and principles and guidance. Thank you for joining me.
Never hesitate to comment or contact me or pose questions! It is an honor to learn alongside my brothers and sisters.